Lobster

The man turned to me and demanded I show him the backs of my hands. Oh boy. Jewelry store employee or no, if you’re a girl that usually only means one thing.

“What!!!? No RING!!?? Are you running from love?” Well thank you. And will you be sharing your intimate personal details with me as well?

“Well sir, I’m still kind of….little.”

“Little?? Love has NOTHING to do with stature!”

“I mean….you know, I’m still pretty young”

He had a small fit when I told him my real age (and I was tempted to shave a few years off). I know, it’s the lipstick. It does tricky things to my youthful appearance.

“While you’re young (I’m glad we’d finally ditched the idea that I was a romantically failed middle aged woman) – run off and go places! Have adventures! Go off to Colorado Friday night and come back Sunday, that’s what my sister did with her friends. Then she got strapped into a toboggan and sent off down hill before she knew what had happened. Or – go to Cozumel!

"I was in Cozumel – have you heard of the wine squirters there? They wrap a towel around your shoulders and squirt wine in your mouth from fresh goat skins. We were there, watching all that, it was so crowded in there you couldn’t breathe – they were having to help people out into taxis.
I was saying something about being sunburned and the guy next to me threw his pants off, jumped up on the table wearing only his Speedo, and he was lobster. Lobster red!"

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It's not exactly wine squirting in Cozumel, but this looks way funner: a full on wine soaking involving whole villages....